God doesn't want me to be Happy

Every now and again you're struck by an inconvenient truth. This one hit me a few years ago, but like many of life's harder lessons, I need to be reminded of it time and time again.

The lesson is this:

God doesn't want me to be happy.

Well, to clarify, God's primary purpose for my life is not my happiness.

Like many things in Christianity, this message runs counter-cultural to the 'me-focused' world of today. Most of our contemporaries would say if something isn't making you happy - a job, a relationship, a marriage etc - leave it and find something that does.

Recently I am finding myself having to make a very difficult personal decision. I have two options.

The first is pursuing something which I feel might make me happy, and we're talking a long-term happiness thing - not the fleeting 'wow I've just eaten half a block of chocolate' happiness.
Unfortunately, it still concerns what is (in my head at least) a theological grey area in terms of morality. Certainly, I feel I can't pursue this with a clear conscience before God.

The second option is the safer option - God will have no objection, but I'll be saying goodbye to that particular chance for happiness. Not only that, but there will be a number of long-term negative emotions which will accompany the decision.

I know which decision I would like to make (duh!) but I am reminded that God's chief concern isn't for our Happiness, but for our Holiness.

I believe He grieves our pain with us, certainly, but what He seeks most is for us to conform to the image of Christ and his righteousness. So, I guess that means that the 'But this will make you happy' argument isn't enough to justify a decision you can't make on a clear conscience.

Besides, God does promises that the road that leads to Life is narrow, and the gate is small. Perhaps this suggests that the right decisions will be the harder ones?

Or, to put it another way, as one of my best friends articulated in an email to me,

...if we’re being refined like gold, then it’s got to be hot.

 I still have a lot of thinking to do, but I thought this was a milestone worth sharing.

Encouragement, but at what cost?

'Encouragement' is a word that Christians throw around a lot. And I mean a lot.

Like with respect to  many terms or expressions in 'pop-Christianese', I think half of those who use it understand it half as sure as they think they do, and sure enough the other half probably use it twice as often as they ought.

Encouragement itself is not a bad thing. Certainly, it would be great if there were less talking about it and more 'doing it'. Unfortunately though, I think we need to be mindful of where it comes from.

I wonder if anyone has ever said to you, brimming with enthusiasm, 'I'm just so encouraged by how God is working in your life.' Maybe it's come after you got the you were chasing, or in response to how you've been serving in the church.

That's great, and definitely reason to take hope in God's goodness toward that particular individual.

But sometimes, this isn't always the case. Sometimes the encouragement we glean from others comes at great personal cost to them. It may have come out of a long-term emotional battle, or from making what they felt was the right decision in a tough situation even though it nearly killed them inside to do it.

Having struggled with depression for a long time, it's certainly been a roller-coaster of ups and downs. And God has certainly blessed me with opportunities to love and serve others through it all. Along the way, when sharing my story with loving, well-meaning Christians, I have oft encountered the remark,

"Wow, I am just so encouraged by how God is working in your life."

And hey, that's great. I am glad that you can be inspired and all - motivated on to a greater purpose and greater good, maybe even riding an emotional wave as you go - but where has that come from?

You haven't had to endure the internal angst which has lead up to that point, or possibly the heartbreak that follows. Why should I have to endure this pain so that others can be encouraged?

I realise I sound very self-centred, and I think at some level I am, though I want to suggest that encouragement shouldn't end there. Maybe the person whose story has encouraged you needs encouragement back, so that they themselves can keep striving towards that greater good and purpose with you.

--UPDATE--

Sorry folks, I should point out that this isn't in response or directed at any person or persons in particular. It's something that has been percolating in my head for a number of months, finally put to paper. Please don't look for any hidden subtext.