Tautologies are great, or they're not.

I discovered something the other day - I love tautologies.


You might never have heard of a tautology, but you probably hear the sneaky little suckers on a daily basis.


For example:

I'll see you when I see you.

That's a tautology, or as Google's Dictionary puts it, 

A statement that is true by necessity, or by virtue of its logical form.

Why do I like tautologies? Probably because they're little packets of truth, impervious to any attempt to disprove them.

What are some of your favourite tautologies? Share them in the Comments section. I might publish the best in my next post.

But don't hold your breath.

It'll happen when it happens.

Depression & Christianity #1: An introduction

A couple of conversations recently have prompted me to realise that while Depression and its significance is oft misunderstood in society, some of the more unhelpful beliefs about Depression can be found within the Church itself.

Certainly the most unhelpful idea is the notion that,

Christians shouldn't take antidepressants, because 'depression' is not a legit medical condition, but rather a consequence of a lack of faith, and / or guilt over un-repented sin.

I'm not saying this is every Christian's attitude towards depression, but I know there are a few who are persuaded towards this attitude to at least some extent.

At our church Men's Camp last weekend (alas, I wasn't able to attend myself), a brave young soul had the courage to speak up about his experience with depression, and I understand that there were a few attendees who 'had their eyes opened' to something they'd never really understood before.

So, in my next few posts I'm hoping to share a little of my own experience, having been diagnosed with depression some years ago.

I hope to cover a little about

• What it really means to be Clinically Depressed, as opposed to more circumstantial depression, and how it affects a person's day to day life;
• Why people shouldn't dismiss Depression because they think it's part of the 'mind' and not the 'body';
• How antidepressants work, and their role in managing depression (the pharmacist in me has to come out sometime); and,
• Why Christians shouldn't look at antidepressants as 'quick-fix cop-outs', but rather see them as tools (in addition to prayer, Bible, etc) to help a Christian maintain a healthy spiritual life.

I'll aim to keep it simple and concise.

Hopefully it'll be good.

Comments and questions welcome.

The magic of Post-its

Post-it wars between companies across Europe are wreaking havoc with their office windows, and giving passers-by something to talk about.

All pretty cool, but the best thing about this article was the link to the stop-motion video made by this guy, Lui, below.

The hospital I work at has plenty of blank walls around its facility. Perhaps it's time to have a little fun...

The 'R' word

Society has been desensitising itself to strong language for decades.


20 years ago, Grandma would have washed my mouth out for saying 'Blast it!' in her kitchen.


30 years ago, 'Drat!' probably would have elicited a similar response. (I wasn't alive then, but that wouldn't have been any excuse.)


50 years ago, you'd be rapped over the knuckles for forgetting to use an apostrophe when saying the word 'It's'. (I hear English teachers were really quite strict)


Even in the last 15 years, the 'F' word has gone from the height of shock-language, to a more-colourful feature of everyday language. Consequently the 'C' word soon took its place, but is also now appearing 'tolerated' in the more private of conversational circles.


The other word that appears to be following suit is the 'R' word.


Rape.


Unlike your average curse word, Rape used to mean something. Specifically, one person (usually a man) forcibly having sexual intercourse with another person, against their will, especially with a threat of violence.


Today, however, you can be raped on the sports field (often entire teams can be involved), raped by an exam (I'm not entirely sure how this works), and even have your Facebook profile's newsfeed raped (a experience which has been fondly dubbed as  being 'Fraped').


Call me a traditionalist, but I'm all for words like 'Rape' being preserved to keep their original, and incomparably-solemn meaning.


If you've ever spoken to a victim of a rape or even sexual assault, you've probably felt overwhelmed as you hear about their feelings of hurt, anger, guilt, personal violation and fear - fears which transcend into their everyday lives and rob them of their sense of safety in any public (or even private) place. You might have shed a tear as they've related how they now feel emotionally and physically damaged, broken and used.

Image from ehow.com

Years ago I did have that conversation with a Rape victim (a real one). And I can tell you: at the end of it I reckon I still had no idea how that person feels, even many years after what may have just been a single incident.


To describe such trivial events as losing a soccer match, or finding somebody's made thirteen consecutive posts on your Facebook wall, with the same word given to describe my friend's experience is purely callous in its ignorance.


Of course, there is ignorance, and then there is the downright malicious, like the Facebook 'Page' I saw earlier this evening, which a contact of mine had decided to 'Like'.

 'Wanna play the rape game?', 'no', 'that's the spirit!' [sic]

[Sic], in this case, sums it up perfectly. And it describes the what-was-then 7 809 people who had decided that it was a page worth 'Liking'. Not to mention additional groups of 150, 10 563 and 45 208 individuals who had decided to support three other pages just like it (I didn't expand to look at any more search results).


No doubt some will read this and think I'm overreacting, but frankly I have a few tender spots which twinge when I hear others' heartaches being thrown around in such a facetious manner.


Of course, we are all guilty of something like this, whether it's mistreating 'Rape'; or using the words 'Fag', or 'Gay' as generic pejoratives; or even 'Fat'.


Please: Let's think twice before we speak. We never really know our audience.

Ignorance + Arrogance. A dangerous combination

Ignorance is a dangerous thing. I think we can all agree on that.
You don't know that the stovetop is hot, you touch it, you get burnt.

And arrogance, well, it's just plain annoying. Unless I'm being arrogant. Then it's ok.

But put them together and you have the potential for something more lethal than a Justin Bieber concert.

And what's worse than a person who has no idea about something, but convinced he's right?

Well, probably that same person who has no idea about something, trying to convince somebody else he's right.

We've all been there: bosses, colleagues, siblings, Kanye West. The debates are never pleasant and usually by the end somebody's bleeding from somewhere.

Far too much arrogance and pride gets in the way of what would otherwise be sound, civilised debate in today's culture.

So what's the best strategy to conquering this synergistic nightmare? I say divide and conquer.

Let's leave arrogance and pride aside and keep discussions rational. Intelligent. Constructive.

Let's leave aside preconceived notions of prejudice, bigotry, hatred, and your mum's weight, and accept the fact that we're fortunate enough to live in a free society where we can all share our ideas on what we think society should look like.

And if we don't agree, that's ok! We can still be friends!

As long as you accept that I'm better than you, we'll get along just fine.

Trolling for Trolls

I confess that trolls have never been a big problem on my blog, mainly because I rarely write anything.

Of course, there are the odd jabs I make in various political directions which have earned me some unwanted and unpleasant attention in the past, but it's all part and parcel of putting your opinions in the public forum.

Still, it helps to understand the different types of trolls, and their general mentality. I've recognised a few in this list, which journalist and blogger James Delingpole has put together.

'til no-fault-divorce do us part

You may have seen an Austar commercial reappear on TV recently:

The commercial depicts a wedding ceremony with the celebrant asking the groom “Do
you Richard, take Alicia to be your lawfully wedded wife, knowing you have 60 days to
reconsider?” The celebrant then asks the bride “Do you Alicia, take Richard to be your lawfully wedded husband, knowing you can leave at any time?”

The voiceover:

 “If you have trouble committing, try Austar for 60 days.”

 I have this to say, in response to the commercial, and today's attitude to marriage:

"Geeee-aaaargh-a-za-frig-shi-rrraaargh!!!"

Thanks for listening. Comments welcome.

Carbon Tax: The Musical!

It's the most controversial issue on the lips of Australians at the moment. And it's an inevitability. There'll be a musical reproduction.

Here's my prediction for how it will pan out.

The show opens with our lead, PM Julia Gillard's rendition of U2's Sunday, Bloody (Carbon) Sunday, followed by the all-Australian public chorus singing Fleetwood Mac's (Tell me) Sweet Little Lies.


The show will also feature Climate Commissioner Tim Flannery performing Crying in the rain by the Everly Brothers, as he reflects on his dud predictions over the years, and Greens Senator Bob Brown belting out the Rolling Stones' Blinded by Rainbows, because, frankly, he is.

The choreography will be tricky: lots of mechanical hand movements and moving forward.

And lastly, Gillard closes the show with Bacharach's Promises, Promises, all to thunderous applause as the chorus hauls her out of Parliament after the 2013 election and deports her back to Wales on a solar-powered freighter. Carrying live-export cattle.

Bravissimo!

What relaxation sounds like

I was introduced to this delight on YouTube by my favourite composer the other day (he had a link on his FaceBook page - it wasn't a personal introduction, alas...)

The video features six male voices: the harmonic 'cloud' they create, particularly in the latter half of the piece, is simply breathtaking.

Church Bulletin Blunders

These never fail to lift my spirits after a day of mank. Some of these literally brought tears of laughter to my eyes. Here's a selection of my favourites (thanks to my sister, Rachel):

Church Ladies With typewriters . .. .

They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:   The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'  --------------------------  Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.  --------------------------  Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.  --------------------------   Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.  --------------------------   At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.  --------------------------  Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.   --------------------------  The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.  --------------------------  Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.  --------------------------  Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.

--------------------------  Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door.  --------------------------  The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM .. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.  -------------------------- Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

Txtn 4 Gma

My boss sent this to me at work. I loved it. It may also come in useful if one of your Grandparents sends you a text message.

She also apologised to those who had better things to read about. I evidently didn't:

I thought the following listing was appropriate...after all, the kids have all their little codes...like BFF, WTF, etc.  So here are some codes for seniors: 

 

ATD - At the Doctor's
BFF - Best Friends Funeral
BTW - Bring the Wheelchair 
BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM - Covered by Medicare
CUATSC - See You at the Senior Center
DWI - Driving While Incontinent
FWBB - Friend with Beta Blockers
FWIW - Forgot Where I Was
FYI - Found Your Insulin
GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low
GHA - Got Heartburn Again
IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL - Living on Lipitor
LWO - Lawrence Welk's On
OMMR - On My Massage Recliner
ROFL...CGU - Rolling on the Floor Laughing...Can't get Up!
TTYL - Talk to You Louder
WAITT - Who Am I Talking To?
WTP - Where's the Prunes
WWNO - Walker Wheels Need Oil 

Hope these help! !!!!!

It isn't global warming after all...

What women want.

If you can use it, use it. If you can't use it yet, remember it. If you can't remember it, use it so you will.

Rage against the Red-Headed She Beast.

Am I the only one who's DAMN dirty about Gillard giving the Greens a 20 per cent cut of her levy?

Please tell me I'm not!

Make a noise, people.

The Pharmacist your man could dispense like

Hello, ladies.

Look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. 

Sadly, he isn't a pharmacist, but if he stopped studying what he was studying and switched to Pharmacy, he could dispense like me.

Look down, back up. Where are you? You're in a pharmacy with the man your man could dispense like. 

What's in your hand? Back at me. I have it: it's a box with two tablets for that thing you hate.

Look again. The tablets are now cosmetics.

Anything is possible when your man can dispense like a pharmacist.

I'm on a hallucinogen.

I might need a new pillow

Ok. So I have come to the point of considering buying a new pillow. I think my current one has somehow been infused with caffeine, or perhaps some exotic, inhaled amphetamine.

Why, oh why, can I be physically and mentally exhausted all evening, yet as soon as I go to bed my mind starts whirring? That was nearly two hours ago.

Even as I'm writing this, I am struggling to keep my eyes open, as my brain once again says 'go to sleeeeep....' yet I know that as soon as I turn out the light and lie down, it all starts again.

I've tried several 'brain-numbing' tricks, including finding boys' names for every letter of the alphabet. I couldn't get 'Y', until seconds ago when I was typing this, and I thought of 'Youssef'. I've done an A-Z of drugs (geek...). I've tried breathing. I've tried not breathing. I've tried warm milk. I would take a sleeping tablet, but I'm on-call.

Please comment with your best tips on getting a good night's sleep.

SG

On being single, and staying satisfied

Thanks to the wonders of modern technology - and Facebook - I recently discovered that only 26% of my 'friends' are single. The remaining 74% are either 'in a relationship', engaged or married.

Now I realise that Facebook hardly covers a representative sample of my real-life friends, so when you consider that people my age are over-represented, and older folk (many of whom are married) are under-represented, the number of single people is probably smaller still.

Now, I'm a firm believer in the 'blessing of singleness'; that being free of a spouse leaves more time and energy to serve God. However like many, I'm sure, my attitude towards my singleness waxes and wanes depending on my various circumstances and mood.

At the moment, I'm at the low end of the cycle. And when you're at the low end, going out to dinner in a group of five married / engaged couples, and you, is not the best thing for your sanity. But in the middle of all that loneliness, there can be some good things, like the comment a friend of mine made to me a few nights after I had helped him nut out a few things.

"...a married scooter could not love me as well as a single scoot! Like the time you gave me last night."

I guess as much as singleness gives you more time to serve God, it also gives you more time to love and serve those around you. Personally, God's blessed me with an abundance of amazing friends, and I should take the opportunity to love and serve them as much as possible while I can. It's not the cure to loneliness, but it's a good and worthy distraction.

Another friend, feeling a little down one night, made a comment on FB asking for advice on what they could do to feel better. In contrast to the recommendations of alcohol and other self-focused things, I suggested doing something nice for somebody else. It sounds tacky, but I truly believe it works.

So if you're single, and feeling lonely, do something for a friend. Cook your busy, married friends a meal. Shout a single friend a coffee, or surprise them with a cake. Random acts of kindness are great (bake a batch of muffins and distribute them to your friends' doorsteps).

Serve God. Serve others. And if there's anything left, treat yourself to something nice too.

SG

PS. Ask me over the next few weeks if I'm practising what I'm preaching.

No more please; I have enough problems

One of my new personal mantras, aside from the one I utter at the end of every work day ('Well, at least I'm one day closer to retirement...') has been oft' repeated over the last few months:

Don't let other people's problems become your problems.

It's something I'm trying to train my brain to remember, as I wade through the slosh of personality disputes, professional differences, social politics, interpersonal grievances and the all-around-trickiness that is my job. Oh, and life in general.

Basically, I am tired of being a doormat and I'm teaching myself to stand up and not be pushed around.

So here are some things which you might find useful to remember, and remind yourself of if you find yourself feeling the way I do a lot of the time:

1. My opinions are just as valid as yours. 
2. My professional responsibilities are important, even if they differ from yours. 
3. My time, like yours, is valuable, and I object to it being wasted because you won't do your job properly. The same goes for my sanity.
4. If you have a problem with me, I can't do anything about it unless I know what it is.
5. If any of the above cause you grief, that isn't my problem. Nor is it my responsibility to fix. Deal with it - either work with me to fix the issue, or get over it.

I don't mean to sound unloving, but sometimes we need to set boundaries for ourselves to keep from burning out. And I am tired of burning out.

Another thing I have learned is the whole 'circle of responsibility vs. circle of influence' concept. Go here to read about it.

In summary, it says that you shouldn't feel responsible for things which you cannot control. If you do, you're in for a rollercoaster of emotional stress. It's worth understanding.

I hope God gives me the strength to stick to it. And you.

Look after yourselves.

Just one more, eh?

I was in the Rossvale Aquarium yesterday with Mark and Carly, and there were two awesome Moray Eels. I have always loved Morays, and was delighted when Carly burst into a parody about Morays (sung to the tune of Dean Martin's That's amore). She couldn't recall all the lyrics, so I searched the web and this is the funniest version I found, so I'll search no more, eh?

When you meet a big eel, and its teeth are like steel... that's a Moray.

If it's big and it's mean, and all slimy and green... that's a Moray.

If it looks like a snake, with a gape like a rake... that's a Moray.

If he's fanning his gills, better head for the hills... that's a Moray!

When you're diving at night, and you feel a sharp bite... that's a Moray.

Put your hand in the crack and you won't get it back... that's a Moray.

It runs you out of depth, so you run short of breath... that's a Moray.

Then it hits all your fingers, with teeth that are stingers... that's a Moray!

So you scream, and you beg, but it still bites your leg... that's a Moray!

Then it bites on your thumb, takes a chunk off your bum... that's a Moray!

When the eel in the reef, has your junk in its teeth... that's a Moray!

So you blubber and scream, just like in, a bad dream... that's a Moray!!!

And when you've had enough, of this grim, grizzly stuff...

S - I - N - G... NO MORE! eh?

Ignoring the little voice

After all my hype and excitement about participating in Eric Whitacre's Virtual Choir (see right) I had been putting it off. Bothered by that nagging voice inside my head that says, You're not good enough. Everyone else's video is so much better than yours; don't even bother.

Glad to say, God enabled me to ignore that voice just long enough to record a video and submit it before the voice came back. After thirty takes (yes, thirty, including interruptions from traffic, whistling and my own damn stupidity) I was able to come up with something I was fairly happy to submit:



It's not the best singing in the world, and by this point my vocal chords were pretty damn tired, but it's not about that. There will always be people who are better than you; that's life. Sometimes you just have be able to ignore the voices long enough to say, Stuff it; let's have a go.

Having submitted it just inside the deadline, I feel pretty satisfied. To just be part of something so amazing (1098 submissions total from 49 countries) is the reward, and I look forward to seeing the final product when they release it in April.

So ignore the little voice, and give it a go. I'm trying to. You can too.