Trolling for Trolls

I confess that trolls have never been a big problem on my blog, mainly because I rarely write anything.

Of course, there are the odd jabs I make in various political directions which have earned me some unwanted and unpleasant attention in the past, but it's all part and parcel of putting your opinions in the public forum.

Still, it helps to understand the different types of trolls, and their general mentality. I've recognised a few in this list, which journalist and blogger James Delingpole has put together.

'til no-fault-divorce do us part

You may have seen an Austar commercial reappear on TV recently:

The commercial depicts a wedding ceremony with the celebrant asking the groom “Do
you Richard, take Alicia to be your lawfully wedded wife, knowing you have 60 days to
reconsider?” The celebrant then asks the bride “Do you Alicia, take Richard to be your lawfully wedded husband, knowing you can leave at any time?”

The voiceover:

 “If you have trouble committing, try Austar for 60 days.”

 I have this to say, in response to the commercial, and today's attitude to marriage:

"Geeee-aaaargh-a-za-frig-shi-rrraaargh!!!"

Thanks for listening. Comments welcome.

Carbon Tax: The Musical!

It's the most controversial issue on the lips of Australians at the moment. And it's an inevitability. There'll be a musical reproduction.

Here's my prediction for how it will pan out.

The show opens with our lead, PM Julia Gillard's rendition of U2's Sunday, Bloody (Carbon) Sunday, followed by the all-Australian public chorus singing Fleetwood Mac's (Tell me) Sweet Little Lies.


The show will also feature Climate Commissioner Tim Flannery performing Crying in the rain by the Everly Brothers, as he reflects on his dud predictions over the years, and Greens Senator Bob Brown belting out the Rolling Stones' Blinded by Rainbows, because, frankly, he is.

The choreography will be tricky: lots of mechanical hand movements and moving forward.

And lastly, Gillard closes the show with Bacharach's Promises, Promises, all to thunderous applause as the chorus hauls her out of Parliament after the 2013 election and deports her back to Wales on a solar-powered freighter. Carrying live-export cattle.

Bravissimo!

What relaxation sounds like

I was introduced to this delight on YouTube by my favourite composer the other day (he had a link on his FaceBook page - it wasn't a personal introduction, alas...)

The video features six male voices: the harmonic 'cloud' they create, particularly in the latter half of the piece, is simply breathtaking.

Church Bulletin Blunders

These never fail to lift my spirits after a day of mank. Some of these literally brought tears of laughter to my eyes. Here's a selection of my favourites (thanks to my sister, Rachel):

Church Ladies With typewriters . .. .

They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:   The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'  --------------------------  Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.  --------------------------  Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.  --------------------------   Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.  --------------------------   At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.  --------------------------  Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.   --------------------------  The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.  --------------------------  Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.  --------------------------  Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.

--------------------------  Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door.  --------------------------  The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM .. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.  -------------------------- Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.