Are you as messed-up as I am?

Something that sucks

Well, Life sucks sometimes. And that's completely normal.

Unfortunately, that normality is one of the things that can suck.

For some of us, sometimes can become a lot of the time, which can in turn become most of the time. It's a progression familiar to anyone who's done the K10 Depression screening tool at the GP's office. Yet somehow, ticking the boxes and scoring high doesn't seem to capture the enormous difficulty in facing another day at work, or that assignment, that communal meal, or even that coffee date with your best friend.

Sometimes, just getting out of bed and eating something is an achievement worth celebrating.

We rarely celebrate however, because we often suffer alone. Looking around, we see a community of people who have their lives together, which seems obvious from the way they act. They're not tormented by the same struggles of life, death, career, relationships, marriages, broken relationships, broken marriages, irrational anxiety, depression, their relationship with God, their identity, their sexuality, the expectations they're trying to live up to, and the dysfunctional coping mechanisms they resort to as they try to hold it all together.

That's an exhausting list. It was exhausting to write. And some of us are living a list similar to that every day.

With that list can come the constant feelings of isolation, loneliness and inadequacy (and even bigger issues such as depression and other mental illness). Our community can feel like an intimidating and alienating place, despite the fact that it is made up of wonderful people who, like us, more than likely don’t have it all together.

God knows this is a heavy burden to bear, and we long for a friend to help shoulder the load. But most of us will rarely ask for help. If a loved one has the good grace to enquire, we're more than prepared to dodge the real questions with a humourous remark or a furtive change of subject.

Sometimes it's because we think if we ignore our problems, they'll go away on their own. Most of the time we're afraid to be seen as weak. Messed-up. Too 'high-maintenance' for our friends to bother with. Even though we're usually not asking for answers or advice - just to be loved and cared for despite our brokenness, and reminded that we have a Hope what lies beyond this life.

Something that's good

For those of us living in the Christian community, we have amazing opportunities to love, share and pray for one another (not to mention those outside our walls). But we also have the opportunity to meet together and be reminded that we're not alone in our struggles, and that we can share our burdens in a safe environment, encourage each other from the word, pray for each other, and find out practical ways to help support each other.

Since I arrived in Sydney, I've been greatly blessed by a ministry at my church, which I'm hoping to replicate in the college residence where I live. The ministry is a great place where we:

• Meet together in an informal, confidential and non-judgmental environment
• Be refreshed and encouraged by God's Word
• Share as little or as much as we want
• Are prayed for
• Remember that we aren't alone in our earthly struggles
• Ask how we can practically love, support and serve one another.

I am hoping to replicate this ministry in the residential college where I live, very soon. For those of you who pray, please pray that it might be a blessing to those who need it, and that the residents would seek to love and serve one another within the group, but also (and more importantly) outside the group.

SG