The Pharmacist your man could dispense like

Hello, ladies.

Look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. 

Sadly, he isn't a pharmacist, but if he stopped studying what he was studying and switched to Pharmacy, he could dispense like me.

Look down, back up. Where are you? You're in a pharmacy with the man your man could dispense like. 

What's in your hand? Back at me. I have it: it's a box with two tablets for that thing you hate.

Look again. The tablets are now cosmetics.

Anything is possible when your man can dispense like a pharmacist.

I'm on a hallucinogen.

I might need a new pillow

Ok. So I have come to the point of considering buying a new pillow. I think my current one has somehow been infused with caffeine, or perhaps some exotic, inhaled amphetamine.

Why, oh why, can I be physically and mentally exhausted all evening, yet as soon as I go to bed my mind starts whirring? That was nearly two hours ago.

Even as I'm writing this, I am struggling to keep my eyes open, as my brain once again says 'go to sleeeeep....' yet I know that as soon as I turn out the light and lie down, it all starts again.

I've tried several 'brain-numbing' tricks, including finding boys' names for every letter of the alphabet. I couldn't get 'Y', until seconds ago when I was typing this, and I thought of 'Youssef'. I've done an A-Z of drugs (geek...). I've tried breathing. I've tried not breathing. I've tried warm milk. I would take a sleeping tablet, but I'm on-call.

Please comment with your best tips on getting a good night's sleep.

SG

On being single, and staying satisfied

Thanks to the wonders of modern technology - and Facebook - I recently discovered that only 26% of my 'friends' are single. The remaining 74% are either 'in a relationship', engaged or married.

Now I realise that Facebook hardly covers a representative sample of my real-life friends, so when you consider that people my age are over-represented, and older folk (many of whom are married) are under-represented, the number of single people is probably smaller still.

Now, I'm a firm believer in the 'blessing of singleness'; that being free of a spouse leaves more time and energy to serve God. However like many, I'm sure, my attitude towards my singleness waxes and wanes depending on my various circumstances and mood.

At the moment, I'm at the low end of the cycle. And when you're at the low end, going out to dinner in a group of five married / engaged couples, and you, is not the best thing for your sanity. But in the middle of all that loneliness, there can be some good things, like the comment a friend of mine made to me a few nights after I had helped him nut out a few things.

"...a married scooter could not love me as well as a single scoot! Like the time you gave me last night."

I guess as much as singleness gives you more time to serve God, it also gives you more time to love and serve those around you. Personally, God's blessed me with an abundance of amazing friends, and I should take the opportunity to love and serve them as much as possible while I can. It's not the cure to loneliness, but it's a good and worthy distraction.

Another friend, feeling a little down one night, made a comment on FB asking for advice on what they could do to feel better. In contrast to the recommendations of alcohol and other self-focused things, I suggested doing something nice for somebody else. It sounds tacky, but I truly believe it works.

So if you're single, and feeling lonely, do something for a friend. Cook your busy, married friends a meal. Shout a single friend a coffee, or surprise them with a cake. Random acts of kindness are great (bake a batch of muffins and distribute them to your friends' doorsteps).

Serve God. Serve others. And if there's anything left, treat yourself to something nice too.

SG

PS. Ask me over the next few weeks if I'm practising what I'm preaching.

No more please; I have enough problems

One of my new personal mantras, aside from the one I utter at the end of every work day ('Well, at least I'm one day closer to retirement...') has been oft' repeated over the last few months:

Don't let other people's problems become your problems.

It's something I'm trying to train my brain to remember, as I wade through the slosh of personality disputes, professional differences, social politics, interpersonal grievances and the all-around-trickiness that is my job. Oh, and life in general.

Basically, I am tired of being a doormat and I'm teaching myself to stand up and not be pushed around.

So here are some things which you might find useful to remember, and remind yourself of if you find yourself feeling the way I do a lot of the time:

1. My opinions are just as valid as yours. 
2. My professional responsibilities are important, even if they differ from yours. 
3. My time, like yours, is valuable, and I object to it being wasted because you won't do your job properly. The same goes for my sanity.
4. If you have a problem with me, I can't do anything about it unless I know what it is.
5. If any of the above cause you grief, that isn't my problem. Nor is it my responsibility to fix. Deal with it - either work with me to fix the issue, or get over it.

I don't mean to sound unloving, but sometimes we need to set boundaries for ourselves to keep from burning out. And I am tired of burning out.

Another thing I have learned is the whole 'circle of responsibility vs. circle of influence' concept. Go here to read about it.

In summary, it says that you shouldn't feel responsible for things which you cannot control. If you do, you're in for a rollercoaster of emotional stress. It's worth understanding.

I hope God gives me the strength to stick to it. And you.

Look after yourselves.

Just one more, eh?

I was in the Rossvale Aquarium yesterday with Mark and Carly, and there were two awesome Moray Eels. I have always loved Morays, and was delighted when Carly burst into a parody about Morays (sung to the tune of Dean Martin's That's amore). She couldn't recall all the lyrics, so I searched the web and this is the funniest version I found, so I'll search no more, eh?

When you meet a big eel, and its teeth are like steel... that's a Moray.

If it's big and it's mean, and all slimy and green... that's a Moray.

If it looks like a snake, with a gape like a rake... that's a Moray.

If he's fanning his gills, better head for the hills... that's a Moray!

When you're diving at night, and you feel a sharp bite... that's a Moray.

Put your hand in the crack and you won't get it back... that's a Moray.

It runs you out of depth, so you run short of breath... that's a Moray.

Then it hits all your fingers, with teeth that are stingers... that's a Moray!

So you scream, and you beg, but it still bites your leg... that's a Moray!

Then it bites on your thumb, takes a chunk off your bum... that's a Moray!

When the eel in the reef, has your junk in its teeth... that's a Moray!

So you blubber and scream, just like in, a bad dream... that's a Moray!!!

And when you've had enough, of this grim, grizzly stuff...

S - I - N - G... NO MORE! eh?