Misery has loved company

It's true. And today marks the last 'Eternal Hope' meeting at Moore College. All of the students have finished their exams for the year, and many are starting to head off this weekend.

While I still have a month to go at AIM, I'm taking this opportunity to reflect on the past year and the blessing that EH has been to my time here at college.

EH, for any new readers among us, is a group I established here at college based on a ministry of the same name that runs at my church.

The idea was to create a meeting place for college residents to get together to share struggles, battles with loneliness, difficult life events, and anything else which might be burdening the heart. Amidst the facade of 'having it all together' (which sadly is all to common in Christian environments), it was a place where people could be real with each other - weep with those who weep.

Today, we are getting together over coffee for a time of thanksgiving and prayer, and we have a lot to be thankful to God for, such as:

• The strength to meet and love one another through the hard times
• The strength to serve one another, and vision to look out for each other
• Opportunities to pray for each other, and the larger college community
• The reassurance that we are loved by our Christian brothers and sisters (and by God), no matter where we're at
  

I want to say thank you to everyone who has prayed for us as a group - I hope that in your prayers you'll also rejoice with us in the progress and successes that individual members have had throughout the year.

It has been a huge privilege to meet with this amazing group of people, and I want to thank each one of them for there courageousness to be vulnerable, their humility in letting us serve them, and their grace in responding in love to each and every person in the group. I am so grateful for each one of them, and for how they have made the group what it is today.

My future here at Moore College remains unknown - I am waiting to see if there will be rooms for Uni Boarders next year. Regardless of wherever God may take me, and whether or not I will be a part of it next year, I hope you will pray with me that EH will continue at Moore College, and provide a safe shelter full of love, grace, compassion and kindness, all to the glory of God. SG

Finding that Joy (...down in my heart)

Last Sunday at church, my pastor started a new sermon series on Joy, and we ran with that theme last night at bible study.

He kicked off the study with a song - a remake of an old Christian 'classic' called
'I've got the Joy (Down in my Heart)'. Here's this new version that he played.




The group's reaction to the song was mixed: some said it made them want to cry. Others said they wanted to cut their wrists. (Personally, if anything was going to drive me to find relief in pain, it would be the original version, made famous by Sunday schools everywhere, and infamous by Rod and Todd Flanders on The Simpsons.)

I, on the other hand, loved it. It did make me want to cry, but in a cathartic way, because it seemed to articulate my own experience of Joy that the Bible talks about.

It's easy to have joy and rejoice in the good times, but there are many instances where the Bible speaks of Joy in the context of suffering. Despite trying times, Christians throughout the ages have rejoiced in God.

For many years, hampered in no small way by my own struggles with depression and other things, I doubted my identity in Christ, my assurance of Salvation as a Christian, because I never 'felt' this overwhelming joy that seemed to be a staple in the lives of other Christians. I understood the gospel, I understood that I had been rescued from my sin by Jesus, and that I was awaiting a grand inheritance in the life to come (Ephesians 1-2), but any positive feelings were often suppressed by my own experiences. Did this mean I hadn't really 'gotten' the gospel, and something was missing in me as a Christian?

Looking at this song, I think it clearly paints the message I am trying to remember every day. The writer has taken the original lyrics and melody which still hold their original meaning, but by placing them in a more solemn and harrowing harmonic context, we can re-examine and understand the lyrics in a whole new way. And gain an amazing appreciation for them as we do so!

The lyrics represent the truth of the Gospel. The harmonic context (of both versions of the song) represent one's circumstances: either bright and happy, or difficult and driving to despair.

The great thing is that no matter our circumstances, the truth of the Gospel and our assurance of salvation in Christ remain unchanged - and these give us reason to hope.

Who Jesus is, and who we are in Him, give us reason to have joy, and rejoice. Even if it takes all our strength to utter such simple words.

Because sometimes it does. And that's ok. God understands, and He loves us all the same. SG


I would love to hear others' thoughts about this song. Leave them in the comments below.

The Plight of Perfectionism

I'm a perfectionist. I have been for most of my life. Sometimes even bordering on OCD when it comes to certain things.

I've heard a few ideas on perfectionism, and the one that particularly intrigues me is one which suggests that rather than simply trying to be high achievers, we perfectionists are more focused on the fear of failure. That's certainly true of me: I am terrified of the thought of failing at something, and even though the high marks which often accompany perfectionism are gratifying, there is always the nagging thought which says, 'You should have done better.'

I am also a terrible procrastinator. I could organise my way out of any dilemma, but if procrastination were currency, I'd be metaphorically rolling in it.

Image courtesy of:

I once heard a helpful idea which tries to link the two - perfectionism and procrastination. Basically, a lot of procrastinators procrastinate because they are afraid of failing at whatever they keep putting off. Again, this is certainly true of me.

For instance, at the moment, I should be working on my composition assignment. I love music, and I love writing music, but because I'm so afraid that what I come up with is going to be potentially offensive on a cellular level, I am sitting here writing my ideas about procrastination instead.

Incidentally, this makes you, dear reader, complicit in my procrastination. Thanks for being a part of it.

In the past few months I've formed my own theory about why we procrastinate, and the different ways people work out there perfectionist tendencies. I'm sure these have been postulated before by others, but I've never heard them, and I've come up with these on my own, so I'm not going to cite anyone and I'm not going to feel guilty about it.

If one's perfectionism stems from fearing failure, I think people respond in either one of two ways:

1. We procrastinate - we put things off because we're terrified of doing a bad job. Usually, when we get to it we do it well, but it's often a rush-job and could have been ten times better.

OR

2. We obsess over it - we put so much time and effort into it that it consumes us. Take the pianist who, to you and me, is amazing, but is still so insecure about his performance that he practices hours and hours and hours a day. The result is that he is a virtuoso in his art (likely in everyone's opinion but his own), but is his joy in his art dampened by his tireless pursuit to flee failure?

I'm certainly in the first category. I'd like to be in the second, because at least I'd have something to show for my stress.

What about you? Do you procrastinate? Which category would you assign yourself to? Do you work out perfectionism in a different way? What strategies do you use to avoid procrastination?

Appreciate any thoughts and feedback - this procrastination is killing me.

Although not as much as my composition, which I suppose I'd better try to get back to.

SG

Breaking News: Harmony Lecturer maimed by Parallel Octave.

A Harmony Lecturer has been seriously injured, caught off guard by a stray Parallel Octave created by one of his students. Only Sub-dominant injuries were sustained, thanks to quick action by a number of students who were Passing Notes at the time.

The court is expected to hear that while there was no apparent Motive, the student ought to have Anticipated the move,  and should consequently receive a Suspension.

The student was believed to be under the influence of a Prolonged Tonic.

Are you as messed-up as I am?

Something that sucks

Well, Life sucks sometimes. And that's completely normal.

Unfortunately, that normality is one of the things that can suck.

For some of us, sometimes can become a lot of the time, which can in turn become most of the time. It's a progression familiar to anyone who's done the K10 Depression screening tool at the GP's office. Yet somehow, ticking the boxes and scoring high doesn't seem to capture the enormous difficulty in facing another day at work, or that assignment, that communal meal, or even that coffee date with your best friend.

Sometimes, just getting out of bed and eating something is an achievement worth celebrating.

We rarely celebrate however, because we often suffer alone. Looking around, we see a community of people who have their lives together, which seems obvious from the way they act. They're not tormented by the same struggles of life, death, career, relationships, marriages, broken relationships, broken marriages, irrational anxiety, depression, their relationship with God, their identity, their sexuality, the expectations they're trying to live up to, and the dysfunctional coping mechanisms they resort to as they try to hold it all together.

That's an exhausting list. It was exhausting to write. And some of us are living a list similar to that every day.

With that list can come the constant feelings of isolation, loneliness and inadequacy (and even bigger issues such as depression and other mental illness). Our community can feel like an intimidating and alienating place, despite the fact that it is made up of wonderful people who, like us, more than likely don’t have it all together.

God knows this is a heavy burden to bear, and we long for a friend to help shoulder the load. But most of us will rarely ask for help. If a loved one has the good grace to enquire, we're more than prepared to dodge the real questions with a humourous remark or a furtive change of subject.

Sometimes it's because we think if we ignore our problems, they'll go away on their own. Most of the time we're afraid to be seen as weak. Messed-up. Too 'high-maintenance' for our friends to bother with. Even though we're usually not asking for answers or advice - just to be loved and cared for despite our brokenness, and reminded that we have a Hope what lies beyond this life.

Something that's good

For those of us living in the Christian community, we have amazing opportunities to love, share and pray for one another (not to mention those outside our walls). But we also have the opportunity to meet together and be reminded that we're not alone in our struggles, and that we can share our burdens in a safe environment, encourage each other from the word, pray for each other, and find out practical ways to help support each other.

Since I arrived in Sydney, I've been greatly blessed by a ministry at my church, which I'm hoping to replicate in the college residence where I live. The ministry is a great place where we:

• Meet together in an informal, confidential and non-judgmental environment
• Be refreshed and encouraged by God's Word
• Share as little or as much as we want
• Are prayed for
• Remember that we aren't alone in our earthly struggles
• Ask how we can practically love, support and serve one another.

I am hoping to replicate this ministry in the residential college where I live, very soon. For those of you who pray, please pray that it might be a blessing to those who need it, and that the residents would seek to love and serve one another within the group, but also (and more importantly) outside the group.

SG